Miserable Lunch

I had a miserable lunch on Friday. The adjustment counselor decided, in order to help me make friends, I would have lunch with three kids she knew. It was just awful. They were two grades younger, and it definitely showed. One of them was the son of a math teacher I had last year, and while he was potentially weird enough to be interesting I didn't "relate" to him or anything. The counselor tried to stimulate conversation by having us answer stupid, pointless, insipid, questions like "what month is your birthday?" and, "what is your favorite candy?" How the hell would anyone get an understanding of someone else with this kind of information?

I find it hard to talk to one stranger, it's impossible to try to talk to three strangers at once. There would even have been a fourth; a truly obnoxious, annoying girl ,who thankfully had other plans. I don't know why the counselor thought it was a good idea. I think that she thinks if you put a bunch of weirdos together, they will all become friends. It was embarrassing, awkward, and barely tolerable. The worst part is I might have to go through that all over again next Friday.

Exchange students

My sister is probably going to have two exchange students over for the week of thanksgiving. She is friends with both of them, they are both female sophomores, from Asian countries ( Japan and Taiwan) I'm kind of looking forward to it even though I'm so bad at social things, just because they would be a nice change of pace to the normal holiday vacations, where I either spend my time alone or try to keep on the good side of my mother when she's getting stressed out by preparations. I think that talking to them might be easier then talking to normal peers, because there might be a definite short-term goal of the conversation, apart from the vague and insubstantial "get to know each other". It's easier have a conversation when it starts of with exchanging concrete information. Asking them about their countries, or explaining something, could easier than just beginning with small-talk. I guess what I really hope is that they find me likeable, because sometimes I wonder if I can appear likeable to anyone who meets me. Sometimes I think almost find myself unpleasant. But if someone can live in a house with me for a week, and still think I am ok, I might feel a bit better.

(Does this sound pathetic? I hope not.)

Edit: It turns out they will both be Chinese. My sister wasn't able to get the girls she knows best.

First Day of Junior Year

Things went ok. The schedule was confusing so I went to a class to early a few times, but that was only because they modified it for the first day. The teachers seem nice. One thing that's worrying is that the math teacher wants us to know every ones name by next week. I'm horrible at remembering names.

I remember last year when I was new to the school. The school had a thing called "New Student Ambassadors". A group of juniors and seniors would give the new students a tour of the school it help them get around. I'm have trouble talking to strangers and I don't think I was a very good companion for my Ambassador, a bright and friendly girl. She tried to chat with me, obviously doing her best to try to make me comfortable, but I'm not very good at small talk, and I'm sure I seemed aloof. We were supposed to exchange e-mails at the end, so I would have a "friend" to connect me to other students, but it was so awkward talking to her, that I refused embarrassed, by the thought of her trying to make me a part of the school community when I couldn't even have a normal chat with her. I suppose my refusal just made me seem even more aloof.

Now one year later I don't feel any more connected to the school. I don't feel like a part of any group at all. I haven't made friends there, and I don't have a sense of community with the other students. Maybe this year will be different, but I think it's just something inherent in my personality that keeps me detached.

Omegle

I really like Omegle. It's a very simple website really, and it has a big problem with trolls, but for all that it's still the best place to have a conversation with someone who you may have very little in common with. That's something we really don't do much. Most people we talk to and socialise with live in the same area, are the same age, have a similar lifestyle, have similar social economic standing, belong to the same cultural back round, ect. Omegle gives an opportunity to talk with those who may be very different, and whom we would not have an opportunity to meet otherwise. President Obama says "what holds us together is stronger than what pulls us apart" and that's probably true, but it's worth remembering that what hold us apart is what makes other people interesting.

Well I've created a Blog

Let's see how this goes, hopefully I have enough to say to justify this blog. I guess for my first post I'll recite a little rant, I had earlier about internet newspeak.

I just hate talking in internet shorthand, It feels wrong to talk in a way that really has no purpose other than to be exclusionary to anyone other than the primarily, Caucasian, upper class, American, people who created most of that newspeak language. It's obnoxious, elitist, and most significantly of all, makes us all sound much more similar, masking our individuality by predestining what terms we would use to describe things. I'd like to think I have enough intellect to not need linguistic crutches to communicate.

Not a bad start.